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Can You Learn How to Love?

Love is a very powerful yet uneasy feeling. Experiencing it, a person puts himself under great pressure. One must be capable of self-sacrifice for the sake of the object of love. Some think that love is a kind of passion, an unexpected strike, but it’s not. Most likely, this is just physical attraction. And true love lies in a certain responsibility which a person takes upon himself. This is much more important. But is everyone able to love?

What is love and why some people can’t find it?

Love is all about deeds or, to be more precise, mutual help and support. True love encourages you to grow as a person and makes you better. If the relationship inhibits personal development, then it can’t be called love. Besides, not everyone is able to love and accept love. If a person doesn’t love himself, he’ll never experience tender feelings to others. This is a considerable problem that must be dealt with.

Insecure people can’t truly love. Their relationship turns into a constant struggle with scandals and quarrels, especially when falling in love too fast. But a self-sufficient person has all the chances build a harmonious union of hearts. Such people know what friendship means and can build a good, long-lasting marriage.

As a rule, lack of love manifests itself in the form of various neuroses. A neurotic can do a lot of harm to a person by his side. Mutual claims and threats arise from self-doubt. Usually, people with such drawback are suspicious and somewhat stiff when it comes to their outlook on life. They’re also extremely sensitive to everything that surrounds them.

The first step on the path to love: Childhood traumas and how they affect us

A great deal of our problems is caused by negative experiences from our past. If a person didn’t get enough love as a child, then it will be much harder for him to build a harmonious relationship.

To make the first step on the path to love, you should learn to accept who you are. One must learn to perceive oneself as a person, who has certain desires, preferences, and hobbies. Only after that, you’ll start loving yourself and attract others to your person. Pay special attention to episodes from your childhood that caused your current problems. In order to analyze and accept them, you may consider consulting a psychologist. Another option is to start a personal diary or, simply, talk about what bothers you with a close friend.

A person, who loves himself, no longer expects others to love him. He finally understands that he can’t force anyone to develop tender feelings towards him. Instead, he earns respect or affection by establishing good relationships with others.

Love and narcissists

Narcissistic persons can’t love. They’re focused only on themselves and their success. Such people enjoy belittling others and boosting self-confidence at their expense. Over the years, these people, as a rule, become deeply unhappy, as they end up alone. Only those, who love everything around them, are able to develop deep feelings. If a person spent his childhood years surrounded by loving people, he’ll be capable of building a stable relationship in the future, since he probably has a moderate self-esteem, which will be a plus.

Loving means being interested in the object of love. This wonderful feeling can’t be caused only by physical attraction or sexuality. To love, you and your partner should be soul mates.

Bottom line

In conclusion, we can say that every person can learn to love. All you need is good intentions and the desire to develop. This feeling requires a lot of effort, so be ready for challenges.

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