How to Forgive Your Girlfriend for Cheating on You

Finding out that a loved one is cheating on you can be one of the most devastating times of our lives, especially if you thought you were in a loving relationship. It is normal to put everything into a relationship and you can be left feeling betrayed, sad, and heartbroken when it happens. However, often you don’t want it to be the end of a relationship just because she cheated, as you’re still madly in love with her and see a future for you both together. If this is the case, read on, because we are now going to take a look at how to forgive your cheating girlfriend.

Should I forgive?

The first and perhaps most important step is to sit back and ask yourself: should I forgive my cheating girlfriend? In the heat of the moment when emotions are running high, it can be difficult to think clearly. You will be rightly furious but you have to ask yourself what made you fall in love with her in the first place and if those feelings still hold true? Is she worth the forgiveness? These are difficult questions to answer and require a clear head, and only if you think she deserves your forgiveness should you take the next steps and try and reconcile your relationship.

Don’t blame yourself

Often it is the wronged party that tries to shoulder the blame for their other half cheating, and this is utter madness. You didn’t do the cheating, so why are you beating yourself up about it?! Experts of explain that you should not feel guilty that you’re not good enough, or attractive enough, or that it’s your fault you spent too much time with the kids. None of these things led her to cheat so don’t beat yourself up. Of course, you can think why your actions may have contributed to her cheating, but if she directly blames you and doesn’t accept her own faults then the relationship is dead in the water. Leave while you still can with your head held high. 

Step away and take stock

Once you have decided that your girlfriend warrants forgiveness it is time to take stock and step away for a period of reflection. You need to understand why she did what she did and need to make sure that she never does it again. Think about what she means to you and why you fell in love in the first place, use this period to work out how you are going to talk to her, and also as an opportunity for you to try and fix any bad aspects of the relationship. You have the moral high ground at the moment, so use it for the benefit of your relationship going forward. Think about what needs to change so that you are prepared when you final thrash things out.

Talk things through

Once you have committed in your head to forgiving your girlfriend and to trying to save your relationship, you need to sit down with your girlfriend and talk through the situation. You have to be 100% sure that she is truly repentant and is committed to you and wants to reconcile the relationship. Saying you are sorry and actually being sorry are two entirely different things, so look for actions behind her words. Is she truly sorry? Stress to her that this is non-negotiable, if she is not taking it seriously or being flippant then you can say adios as it is clear her heart is not set on reconciliation. You both need to understand that from here there is going to be an awful lot of hard work, and it could take years to earn back the trust that you previously had. You both need to take steps to put the past behind you, which means that once you’ve committed to moving on, you can’t be bringing up the past every time you have an argument. Let it go otherwise it will eat you up and you will never manage to move on.

Forgiving a partner who has cheated on you is one of the toughest decisions we can make, but if you are truly in love and can both see why you fell for each other in the first place, then it is possible to reconcile. It will be a long journey and will involve a lot of soul searching, but if you can understand why she did it without blaming yourself and she shows the correct level of remorse regarding her actions, then it is possible to move on and rekindle what you once had together. 

Written by George K.

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