Marriages can be a tricky subject to handle for anyone who has ever experienced it. As much as they can be some of the beautiful moments in a person’s life, they can also be the darkest. When you’re in a toxic marriage, it can be challenging and draining.
At times you may not even know that you’re in a toxic marriage, and even if you’re told, you wouldn’t see it. This all may be happening while the signs are clear to see, but you just aren’t seeing them. Below are some of the characters of a toxic marriage, and you need to get a divorce.
You Lose Control of Your Day to Day
Marriage isn’t a license to lose control of your day-to-day decision-making. If you aren’t making most of the decisions about your day, you may be in a toxic marriage. For example, if you have a set time for your partner to get home.
It would help if you lived out your desires to win as much as you’re married. There’s a need for freedom to discuss such matters and still control your day-to-day events. If you are living your day-to-day life in an effort not to annoy your partner, it’s toxic.
You need to set some boundaries even while in marriage. For example, most people have sexual limitations they’d like to keep. You first need to discuss it with your partner and set the boundaries, and they need to respect them.
But when your boundaries are constantly ignored, the marriage is turning toxic. Your partner won’t stop going over boundaries. You can also set boundaries about texts and calls during your working hours that need to be respected.
Secrets to Unmask
When you start to feel that your partner is keeping secrets, it may be time to get a divorce. No marriage will ever survive with secrets, and you’ll quickly start to feel that the explanations aren’t adding up. For example, when you notice a hidden bank account, you need to be alarmed.
One of the most significant signs of toxicity in a marriage is dishonesty, bringing a massive gap in your marriage. You may easily reach a breaking point, and you need to get a divorce. Trust is like glass; once broken is hard to rebuild.
Privacy and Personal Space Violation
You know you’re in a toxic relationship when your partner is consistently violating your privacy. For example, if your partner can’t respect your phone or any other personal gadget, that’s a clear violation.
And worse, when they do this is suspicion that you may be cheating on them. One character of an unhealthy relationship is unnecessary jealousy. This is when you even get interrogated for a picture you took five years ago.
There are some marriages where one partner feels insecure all the time. You don’t want to be in such a marriage, and the insecurity doesn’t just start from nowhere. They begin after someone cheats or has cheated before or is getting too cozy with someone else.
If your insecurity isn’t based on such a background, you are the toxic one. A marriage needs to be safe with no basis for insecurity. And if your partner is constantly giving you reasons to be insecure, you’re in a toxic marriage.
Your Spouse is Keeping Score
Your partner needs to be one that can show you random thoughts of affection. But if they are the type to keep score of how much appreciation you have shown before they reciprocate, it’s toxic.
For example, when your partner buys you a gift and quickly reminds you of what you owe them, it’s toxic. It should come out with no struggle for both of you to show the other affection.
Your Light is Dimming
Once you notice more than enough people tell you that you don’t have the same light you had before, it may be something to consider. When you’re in a toxic marriage, you’ll slowly start noticing the light you had before dimming. Your partner may be the one dampening your spirit.
For example, if your partner isn’t cheering you on what you do, you may even struggle to perform. If they are always pessimistic about what you achieve, you may lose your confidence slowly. This may be one of the unhealthiest situations to be in a marriage.
There are some signs to look for when you suspect you’re in a toxic marriage. Above are the most common things that you need to look at and maybe consider divorce when you notice any signs.